Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

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How long until this gets good again?

December 22, 2010

I decided to interrupt the top anime of the year gig and post something legit for my (surprisingly) larger fanbase. I do say though, I’m glad that this blog gets about 70 hits a day, without there being much new content. It’s motivation for sure.

Recently I’ve been watching an anime called Votoms, I’m sure most of you have heard of it, if not watched it in its’ entirety. This is an anime with a great score, amazing voice acting and really realistic, beautiful artwork from the 80’s, but the plotline is extremely lagging and takes forever to develop. I’m sure of you have heard the Sunrise theory told by Daryl Surat where he states that all 50 episode Sunrise shows are extremely boring at the first thirteen episodes, but after that it gets good.

 

Well, I currently own two DVD sets of Armored Trooper Votoms, and I have gotten through the first set of thirteen episodes…after about three months. The first thirteen episodes have been murder to get through due to the extreme uneasiness of the plot. So I’ve been asking myself, is it fair to ask someone to watch almost an entire fourth of the show and consider it good? As a matter of fact, as of this moment (episode 13) Chirico Cuvie has really done nothing other than discover the prototype and introduce himself something that should have happened about six episodes ago. This is an anime that has only gotten positive praise from people I have spoken to about it. I’m going to stick with it for the next set of DVD’s I own, but if it doesn’t at least get a meaning in the plot after TWENTY SIX EPISODES, then the anime is dropped and everyone’s opinion is wrong regardless. This anime is not like Gaogaigar where you can skip the first 25 episodes, because for every episode of Votoms, at least five minutes of that episode mean anything.

 

It seems as if I have that syndrome where I really don’t get what everyone sees in specific anime. It’s not me trying to be a rebel or unique, I just really don’t get the appeal of some anime like Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann and Panty and Stocking. Trust me, I’d much rather be the guy laughing at a show like that instead of wondering why it’s a huge piece of shit, but I’d rather not go into that at the moment so this post is over!

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My excitement for Sengoku Basara DVD and other stories.

October 22, 2010

With the arrival of my Sengoku Basara DVD in the mail, I realized I loved anime. I’ve never seen this anime, but I am so pumped for this show to save me from my burn out that I can’t help but be excited. Clean, crisp character designs, bitchin’ opening music and awesome you tube clips of Engrish has me the most excited I’ve been in my whole entire anime fan life.

 

Sadly, my love for anime is matched for my hate for anime. There are several anime I watch just out of boredom but internally despise. One could ask, but Art why do you watch this garbage if you hate it? Because of appreciation. Nothing makes you appreciate an anime like Kamichu!  or Hajime no Ippo than a shitty, shitty anime. So today I decided to write up anime that I consider terrible and if you enjoy any of these shows, you seriously have bad taste. These won’t be ranked, but the ones on the bottom will be the shittiest of the shittiest.

Tokko

What is this: Ah, my first anime purchase. I bought this shitty, shitty series because the author, Tohru Fujisawa, the creator of Great Teacher Onizuka, made the manga this was based on. But oh dear was this the furthest from GTO than an anime could get. Let me tell you the plot in a sentence: some pussy with pink highlights parents died so for some reason he has a hard on for his sister and random fucking sperm monsters come and attack the shit out of them. Oh, and there’s other people who’s parents died and they have unconscious siblings and they fight demons. Sounds interesting? Far from it.

Why do I hate this: Terrible execution, SPERM MONSTERS, the characters are all boring and the director, Masashi Abe seems to not know how plot exposition works. There is some really bad fan service that goes on between all the big breasted women in the show, but it all comes off as unsexy and disgusting. Not to mention that I didn’t believe a Tohru Fujisawa-based work could be so terrible. This show however had that “ironic” appeal in a few episodes where it seems like all the demons in this show are straight out of a Yoshiaki Kawajiri anime.

If that's the size of his sperm imagine his...

 

Madlax

What is this: I don’t even know. There are these two girls intertwined by fate and there is some excruciatingly boring action that occurs. I think Bee Train failed when the made the show Noir and they didn’t learn their lesson and failed here again. You would think Bee Train would just quit animation altogether because a lot of their animation has such slow frame rate that it seems as if you’re watching a picture book flip like those old Captain Underpants books we used to read.

Why do I hate this: It’s boring. It’s boring from start to finish and as much as I TRIED to like this anime, I couldn’t. The cover that ADV put out made me want to watch this so bad that I dropped the 35 bucks on the show at a Best Buy. I wish there was a warning label on this show that said “CAUTION: SLEEPING AID” on it. Madlax is one of those shows I always mention when I hear the words “bad and anime” without a 300 word gap in between them.

Kaiba

What is this: This is Maasaki Yuuasa’s failure. This anime revolves around a young boy who wakes up and doesn’t know who he is. In this world, your memories can be transferred and destroyed, just like a USB stick. What starts out as a strong, world building series ends as a terrible what the hell anime.

Why do I hate this: Pretentious anime is pretentious. What went from a great anime turned into a mediocre anime. I was very disappointed with what occurred throughout this anime. I’m not a fan of anime that try to add more meaning to their anime than there really is. Nothing is really ever explained and after watching the last episode three times, I still don’t understand. Blame it on me being a bit of a dumbass and me not using my brain when I watch anime, but this anime sunk in quality regardless to everyone regardless of IQ. Everyone knows I hate disappointing anime, so why isn’t this last? Because Yuuasa made up for it with Tatami Galaxy, probably one of the greatest artsy anime I’ve ever seen. That’s enough to let it in at second to last place.

Amagami SS

What is this: As far as I know, this anime revolves around some guy that got stood up on Christmas and is searching for love again. Apparently this anime goes through all four or six of these stories as they did in the PS2 game. However, this decent anime was dropped automatically after episode 3.

Why do I hate this: The main character went from a charming young man from a fucking pussy fetishist. The story was very cute in the first two episodes and it took a turn for the worst after the main character becomes a wimp who begs his school idol girlfriend to let him kiss the back of her legs. I couldn’t even look at this guy’s animated face without wanting to puke. What man decides to plead with his girlfriend to let him even kiss her? If she’s being a bitch like that, you dump her! What’s worse about this is I genuinely enjoyed this anime up until this point. It made me hate what could have been a decent anime.  Maybe the reason that girl didn’t show up on Christmas is because this guy is a fetishistic pervert.

 

I labeled this "amagami sickfuck" in my pictures document.

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Japan loves its subordinate women.

December 27, 2009

World of Narue Bashing Review

Method Watched: Anime On Demand/Japanese fansubs

Price: 29.98

English Publisher: ADVision (previously licensed by Central Parke Media)

Genre: Romantic Comedy, Slice of Life, Sci-fi

One of the reasons why anime has become jaded and bland is the same reason series like this anime get released. It’s not so bad to have anime clichés in your anime, it’s how you use them. This series uses them in the most boring manner imaginable.

The anime plot is pretty basic. Girl saves boy, girl is alien, girl and guy get in to wacky adventures, guy wants to pork said alien. Shocker, the boy is a fucking otaku and the girl is a walking doormat. Narue is the alien and Kazuto is the bitch, I mean boy. There are no plot twists and from there it turns into a slice of life. There isn’t much sci-fi going on

The main characters Kazuto and Narue. My face looked EXACTLY like Narue's as I watched this anime.

despite its premise. If I had to compare this story to any other anime it would be Oh! My Goddess. The girl is a reason why the I’m not completely opposed to the feminist movement. She’s exactly the type of girl meant to appeal to otaku fetishists. Not to mention the mechaphiles. There’s a ship that turns into a woman. Feel free to stop reading the review now if that was enough to seal the deal. The only people that are going to be watching a show with a story like this are either otaku idealists or young girls who find this show cute. The biggest problem with romantic comedy/slice of life type of shows is their endings. This anime takes the cake. It just…ends. In the same vein that I hated Kare Kano for just ending. How does it end though? In the most otaku’s wet dream imaginable. A cosplay contest to please her man.

The art is nothing special. There are no great fight scenes, no amazing romantic kiss scene…everything is just mediocre. All the characters look like stock anime characters. In short, make sure to drink some coffee before you pop this in the DVD player. I looked up the character design and it looks like some guy named Takaaki Hirayama did the character designs. What else has this guy done? Motherfucking Mamotte Shugogetten, another “let me please you because I’m willing to do whatever for you” anime.

As far as sound goes, this anime goes nowhere. Narue’s soundtrack sounds a lot like that of a visual novel. It’s pretty bland and does nothing to bring up any emotions. The Japanese track for this is not half bad. A lot of the seiyuu aren’t high-pitched annoying, just there. I knew I’d heard Kazuto’s voice somewhere before though..somewhere bad.. MOTHERFUCKING MAMOTTE SHUGOGETTEN! Mr. Daisuke Sakaguchi is just one of those guys I will never ever accept his voice after series like this. As for the English dub, it’s flat. Nothing special, it gets the job done for a series like this.

 I hate everyone in this series. Everyone. I hate to rag on series as if they’re terrible, but everyone is so mediocre. The only highlight of this whole series is the ship woman. She wants to get married. If you had to see one episode of this

This is Bathtscaphe. There's a guy who wants to pork her in this show.

series, it’s the ship relationship episode. I for one do not condone mecha-human relationships. It’s wrong and immoral and God would not stand for it.

I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone. It’s not that this show is bad, it’s just mediocre, and mediocrity is what really sucks. However, I know people will watch this because of its‘ moe♥moe kyuun aspect. However, those people don’t read my reviews..well no one really does, but you get the point. Don’t buy it, don’t download it, just pretend you never read this or even heard of the series. Why ADVision decided to rerelease it is beyond me.

If you're reading this blog, chances are you find this to be disgusting. If this turned you on, get the fuck out of Lonely Sunset.

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Screw you, Gainax and other stories.

December 21, 2009
So much shit, so little series.

So much shit, so little series.

I need to just get some steam out. I hate Gainax. I hate everything about them. I hate how they give series so many spin-offs and kill their anime to the ground. I hate how they don’t give series that NEED it like Kare Kano, a second season. There’s a difference between a bad studio, like say Bee Train, and Gainax is the sick need to kill your series. Mahoromatic is an example: cheesy ecchi anime. I completely understand it’s a appeal. Should have ended with the second series. It ended decently, nothing great. In comes in the OVA’s. What the hell is that? It has zero entertainment value. Just another ploy to make money.

Gurren Lagann. Another good series. I completely understood its appeal. My problem with it is it’s stupid spin-offs and music videos that don’t make any sense. I understand if you want your series to be successful and you want to get as much merchandise as you can out of your product, but god damn how many Yoko figures can there be? One for jacking off, one for display, one for ogling and one to make your waifu. God damn, otaku can’t you see the wool in your eyes? You, yes you Japanese fans who keep buying their damn products. At least Gonzo has the decency to know they make bad shows and stop there.

I have one more beef with Gainax and that is Hideaki Anno. A director like this should not be let direct. The man is so easily swayed by emotion and depression, it’s a wonder how he still finds work. I think people are assuming I’m talking about Evangelion. In a way, I sort of am. A guy should let his depression sway his work. Everyone goes through depression, especially anime directors, but I have yet to see one take it in such a stupid way he did. I have no problem with the End of Evangelion, my problem with the “OMG SHOCK VALUE” aspect of it. Not to mention Kare Kano. The guy just quit halfway because of some disputes.

Rant over. I should be done with my review of Great Teacher Onizuka tomorrow for those interested.